A little bit scary

Dear Thumper,

Hi. This is Mom.

I'd kind of promised myself that this blog wouldn't be a series of boring, whiny preggie revelations. Cos how much fun is that gonna be for you when you learn to read? Um, none.

But today's been a little bit scary, so I'm going to blather on about that for a bit, get it out of my system and end off with a list of nice things again, like yesterday. Hopefully, from tomorrow, I won't be scared and I will be able to write up nice, happy, shiny stuff for this jolly little blog...

So, why scary? Well, the Braxton-Hicks contractions, which I've started noticing recently (since a nice lady on the Circle of Moms website told me that's what they were - funny 'squeezy' contractions that start with a tight band under the boobs and then jump all over the abdomen in hard little spots), started around 9am when I sat down at my desk, and didn't let up much for three solid hours.

Apparently they're supposed to come a few times an hour, at most, and more than that isn't good, because it could mean pre-term labour. Which, even tho' I was born at 32 weeks (which is what you are now), we don't want. So I called the two midwives and Jivvy the Genius.

Jivvy's Reggie suggested a visit to the Parklane and a non-stress test, which I didn't want to do - largely because I thought it sounded like a helluva seriaas measure, because I had shit to do and because Dad's not here and I'm a little bit scared of that ward after last time (you remember?).

So I phoned Tina the Terrific, antenatal teacher extraordinaire, and she suggested a lie down, some water and a general ceasing of scurrying up and down the stairs, missioning about, schlepping all over, etc. Eep. (She also suggested Rescue Remedy, which we don't have, and a hot bath, which I'd had about three hours before and wasn't going to do again...)

Marilyn smsed in the meantime, to suggest a bath (what's with this bath stuff?), two Panado and a rest. So... I took two Panado, lay down for 30, read What To Expect and drank some water. BH contractions overs. Yay. Then drank a Powerade and waited for some action from you.

You're a superstar. Got a small kick en route to fetch my car and felt better.

But this is all very scary. Because I keep thinking about all those girls I've heard of who've lost babies in the third trimester, who've had cord-round-neck nightmares, who've gone into labour too early, who've been put on bed rest for weeks and weeks. And it's, frankly, terrifying.

So I'm bunking tonight's Preggi Bellies - no exercise this whole week, oy vey - and eating chocolate so you keep kicking.

I'm also very busy feeling guilty about all of the heavy missioning I have coming up: driving to far-awayish-places, training full days in town and elsewhere til early March, having people over, going off to see people. It almost feels like I should be resting radically on the one hand and getting on with all the stuff I have to do before you come - including exercising! - on the other.

Where's the balance? I need to be strong and fit and prepared, and loose-end-free on the work front, but I also need to be chilled and rested and at home a lot. Hell's bells.

Okay, whinge over. Time for the lovely, happy, sparkly list...

5 cool things I didn't know about pregnancy until now:

1. Sometimes being pregnant doesn't mean hideous constipation. Sometimes it means that, for the first time in your life, your body works exactly as it should, every day, without fail.
2. Pregnancy gives you an excuse to take it easy without a modicum of guilt; to operate at 80% instead of 100% and to consider that acceptable. Which is an unusual feeling for a workaholic, but very welcome. 
3. A large, round pregnant belly is an absolutely beautiful thing.
4. Eating like a mad and starving person is a huge amount of fun. Not being on diet for the first time in 15 or so years is divinely liberating. And pregnancy means eating stuff you never really considered before, like Zoo biscuits and Cream Soda and Smarties and Fizzers and doughnuts.
5. Being pregnant means never feeling completely alone.

May you only be scared for very, very good reasons.

Love you.

Mom x