10 things that are hard to do when you're a mom

Hi darling Milla.

It's Mom. 

We had an interesting (read: tiring) morning at (godawful) Cresta and so I'm a little grumpy. Here, just to make myself feel better, is a list of 10 things that are hard to do when you're a mom:

1. Try on an outfit in YDE, if your kid is with you. The pram doesn’t fit into any of the change rooms, and if there’s a wheelchair-friendly change room it’s either locked or used for storage.
2. Pop into the quick-shop at the petrol station when there's a sleeping child in the car.
3. Move easily from floor to floor in a shopping mall, without heading to one or other remote corner for the lifts. Prams are not escalator-friendly. Or, rather, escalators are not pram-friendly.
4. Push a trolley, if it isn’t the one with the baby thingy on top. Because, if you’re pushing the trolley, who’s gonna push the pram?
5. Not be grateful that the screaming kid in the parking lot isn’t yours. This time.
6. Explain to your toddler why she can have juice but she can’t have a sip of your Tab/wine/gin and tonic/[insert toddler-inappropriate drink here].
7. Not justify your pineapple hair, biscuity pants, crumb-laden car or scribble-filled moleskine with the ubiquitous ‘I’m a mom’.
8. Remember to turn off Mister Maker when the baby leaves the room, so that you don’t land up absently watching it/get too lazy to find the remote she’s hidden somewhere in the lounge.
9. Not make yourself feel better about your (my) five extras kilos by calling it (yes, 18 months later) ‘baby weight’ and dismissing it wholesale with, ‘Oh well. I’ve had a child.’ [So has Heidi Klum. Four times.]
10. Resist the temptation to make your child watch America’s Next Top Model with you because a) it’s 5am, b) there’s no sex or violence in it and c) you can’t watch Jog the Frog’s action songs again without killing someone.

But this morning you said, 'Love you Mommy.' Who needs YDE, the quick-shop or a 6-pack?

Love Mom x